no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
