My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
