Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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