I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize