my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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