she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
