i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
