i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize