I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize