i think my tv is drunk
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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