Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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