Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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