We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
