I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
