I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
