forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
