i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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