Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
