thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
