I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
How's work?
Spinning.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
