im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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