I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
