A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Can you bring me the toilet please
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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