We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
