You're so nebulous sometimes
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
