Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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