My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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