I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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