Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
