all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
