um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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