Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You did what with his pubic hair?
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