How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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