You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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