I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Your penis caused this!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
