the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize