No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
