Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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