If i come over, it means nothing
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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