Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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