i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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