Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
