Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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