He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize