he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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