I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
