Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Reggie can tackle my bush.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize