There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
