the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
