Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry unt0uchable389 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(469): View more from Texas

Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.

Fav 12 1269 5349
share tweet
(540): View more from Virginia

Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.

Fav 7 1245 2429
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?

Fav 6 2184 858
share tweet
(315): View more from New York

15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...

Fav 4 1654 853
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.

Fav 5 610 1876
share tweet
(224): View more from Illinois

Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker

(847): View more from Illinois

Do you believe in miracles?

Fav 5 1577 766
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(413): View more from Massachusetts

Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...

Fav 11 1618 706
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(480): View more from Arizona

Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.

Fav 0 231 137
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.

Fav 0 56 22
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT