how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
