I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize