so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
