It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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